


#DontCheetAhnMe

by KuraiOfAnagura



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Cheetah - Freeform, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 18:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13323657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuraiOfAnagura/pseuds/KuraiOfAnagura
Summary: “Yura? Are you home?” Otabek asked, as he put the keys onto their hook and entered the living room.And then he saw the cheetah sitting on their sofa.





	#DontCheetAhnMe

**Author's Note:**

> Malysh is a russian pet name and means Baby

With a barely contained sigh Otabek muttered darkly under his breath as he was forced to put the grocery bag down onto the floor of the hallway to dug deep into his pants pocket to detangle his Ipod, his mobile and finally to fish out his keys. With some more grumbling and more force than necessary he made his way into the apartment he currently shared with Yuri.

  
It was summer, his university was between terms and it was the off-season for both of them. Otabek was offered a place alongside Yuri as an instructor for Yakov’s summer camp (“It’s not fair!” Yuri whined. “Why does he get payed and I’m all but forced to deal with those annoying wannabe ballerinas?”) and they both wanted to use it as a trial term to try their relationship in a more closer manner.  
Switching from long-distance to getting in each other’s hair constantly was no easy task. The honeymoon phase had faded and they found their lifestyles clashing in more than one point.  
Yuri loved to litter the flat with dirty tea cups while Otabek got the creeps from the dried tea bags. Otabek needed at least half an hour of reading before he was tired enough to go to sleep; Yuri, who usually hit the pillow and was gone, drove the light insane.

  
Victor, who held a key to the apartment, was used to enter unannounced on his way back from the rink to grab one of his Japanese soft drinks that he craved but Yuuri was forbidden from having. Yuri used it as a constant lever and blackmailing material since he agreed to store them for Victor to secretly consume. During Otabek’s first week Victor though was presented not only with his soda but also with a butt naked Kazakh figure skater in the kitchen. After some mutual screaming and embarrassed shuffling and some more screaming from Yuri who’d emerged from the bedroom like some harpy sent by Zeus himself to rain thunder upon Victors retreating hairline, they all agreed to never talk about the one time Victor saw Otabek’s chunk in all its glory (he was, after all, getting something to drink for Yuri during their aforementioned honeymoon-we-fuck-each-other’s-lights-out-phase).

  
Except of course the two or three times in which Victor wanted to ask Yuri about… the thing. (“I’m not judging! Or something like that. I uhm… I don’t think you want to hear congratulations either? I just, Yusha, I love you like my brother, my little brother, my tiny small brother and therefor this is really hard to ask, but I have to! Solely for a scientific reason of course. And of course because I care for you. I just want to know … how?”).

  
Yet against all odds they managed to not only still be alive, but also growing into the next level as a couple by the end of the first month. They managed to form a good schedule that allowed them secluded alone time as well as a huge amount of coupley lovey dovey (Victor’s words, not Yuri’s).

“Yura? Are you home?” Otabek asked, as he put the keys onto their hook and entered the living room.

And then he saw the cheetah sitting on their sofa.

He stumbled backwards with a loud swear (his grandmother would wash his mouth with soap upon hearing it). With a loud thud the grocery bag landed on the floor, both causing the big yellow cat to hiss dangerously at him. Otabek froze at the sight of those long and yellow teeth.  
He stood stock still with his back pressed against the  - _for fucks sake why did I close it?_ – door, as those big brown eyes fixed on him, ears flat on its head.

Their staring contest was interrupted by the flushing sound of the toilet, both cheetah and Otabek turned their heads towards the bathroom door through which Yuri emerged. Said man halted in surprise confronted with the twin stare before his mouth split into a grin.

“Beka! You’re home early!” Utterly undisturbed by the big feline Yuri strolled towards the couch and as soon as he was seated the cheetah flopped down dramatically on his lap, starting to rub its big head onto Yuri’s knees.

“How was practice?”

“Yura…”

“Yes, Beka?”

“Why is there a motherfucking cheetah in our living room?”

“Oh this?” Yuri had begun to rub the flank in lazy strokes, causing the cheetah to shrug more and more onto its back, presenting its belly towards Yuri. Yuri stopped his ministrations at Otabek’s question to gesture to the large animal in his lap. “This is just Malysh. Don’t mind him, he’s just a big sucker for cuddles.”  
Malysh took the introduction as a cue and started to use Yuri’s arm as a chew toy.

If even possible Otabek’s eyes grew another size and all instinct of self-preservation was forgotten as lunged forward to safe the love of his live from the teeth of a big cat, but was stopped by Yuri’s bubbling laughter as he wrestled his limb back, playfully holding Malsyh down as he nuzzled into the thick fur on the cheetahs neck.

Feeling suddenly light headed from the adrenaline slowly fading, Otabek groaned as he massaged his temples.

“Yuri, please?”

“Well, didn’t we talk about getting another cat?”

Their ‘ _talk_ ’ about another cat had ended with Otabek having to tackle Yuri down and carry him like a sack of potatoes out of the local animal shelter. All the while Yuri screamed at the cats that he would come back to all of them and take them home.

The look on Otabek’s face must’ve been mortified enough for Yuri to take pity in him. He burst into laughter, bending over and Malysh used the momentum to try and gnaw at his elbow.

“Ah, silly Malysh, I’m no food!” Of course it would be such a Yuri thing to name a ragdoll kitten Puma Tiger Scorpio, but a full grown male cheetah Baby. “Relax, Beka, he’s not ours to keep. By the way, when will I finally get a kiss?” Even if his heart fluttered at the mention of _ours_ Otabek was still very cautious as he crept towards his boyfriend and pecked his lips shortly before retreating to Yuri’s office chair in the corner of the room. Yuri rolls his eyes at him.

“Come on, it’s not as if he’s dangerous!”

“Big cat, Yuri, top predator. Have you seen that teeth!?”

With a smug grin, Yuri grabbed Malysh’s jaw and pried it open with both hands making a show to shove his face close to the finger long canines, feigning to inspect them really closely. “Oh, yes, we have some very nice teeth, don’t we, Malysh?” The cheetah answered by starting to lick Yuri’s face.

Otabek muttered something that Yuri’d learned to recognize as a short prayer of desperation when Otabek was at his wit’s end.

“Do you remember the animal rescue society that I’m working with from time to time?” Otabek just snorted as an answer. There was no way he could forget it. Yuri used to donate to a project of the society since the age of 9. First it was part of his birthday money that he gave up in favor of supporting the preservation of the Siberian tiger, later it was part of the charity every skater used to do. Upon his last World cup gold (his theme was Ferocity and yes, somehow he’d finally managed to get Lilia to agree to tiger stripes on his Free Skate costume (it was all very aesthetic), thus finally cementing his most favored nickname as Russia’s Ice Tiger for the press people (with his growth spurt it had become harder and harder for them to refer to him as the Russian Fairy)) the society reached out to him as one of their most loyal donators and asked to be one of their more prominent faces for marketing. This included a photoshoot with Anastasia, Yuri’s one and true love as Otabek loved to call her. Anastasia was a Siberian tiger that was rescued from an abusive circus by the agency. She’d been too fixated on humans to successfully release her into the wild, therefor she sometimes served as their cover model from time to time.

To say that Yuri had been excited was a brash understatement. Yuri had to calm himself down with one of Katuski’s herbal teas before meeting the tiger. Otabek had received a ton of selfies of Anastasia (“No, Beka, fuck, I’m not crying! It’s the hair… fuck! Can you imagine? I’m finally going to work with a real tiger!”) and Yuri and whenever they used to talk about it Yuri would get that faraway star struck look in his eyes that somehow left Otabek the teensiest bit jealous.

The result was a huge billboard of Yuri and Anastasia, both lounging casually side by side on a gilded chaiselongue, their proud and intense stars directed at the onlooker. Yuri had an ad free high gloss print framed, the picture currently towering over the TV, but Yuri had plans to make it a center piece as soon as he’d move to a bigger apartment. Otabek had a similar picture.  
Though his hung in the guest toilet.  
(It was just the last remaining bare wall that could house such a huge picture. His friends though proclaimed to feel constrained to pee freely with Yuri’s intense gaze on their dicks)

“Barely,” Otabek answered dryly.

“Well, there was a heist on a Pakhan for all I know yesterday. And while Interpol and the Police and probably also the KGB raid the place they discover he has a fable for exotic animals and has his personal zoo here in the middle of Petyr! So they contacted local shelters and animal societies, but the guy had just that many exotic beasts they had to start to distribute them among private people that are associated with shelters or zoos and stuff. And somehow I’m still on their list and yeah, quoting the lady ‘ _nobody else is crazy enough to house a cheetah over the night but you, so please help us out?’_ ”

Yuri finished his story with a bright smile, clearly smug to be ‘crazy enough’. Malysh had settled down and had started to purr (later Otabek would look it up and find out that cheetahs can’t purr) surprisingly quiet for such a big cat while Yuri brushed his fingers through the fur behind his ears.  
As always Otabek was taken aback how natural Yuri looked around cats. Pussy-magnet was just one of his more teasing nicknames he had for his boyfriend, ironically the most fitting one if you were to judge by the flock of stray cats that used to swarm around him whenever he left the rink.  
That one selfie Mila had posted some years ago with Yuri sleeping surrounded by cats hat been his first background picture on his mobile of Yuri with his red haired rink mate cropped out.

“So the officials will get him tomorrow?”

A barely there scrunch wafted over Yuri’s nose. “Probably.”

“Probably?”

“Well, yeah, it can be tomorrow or… later…”

“Yuraaaa!” Otabek all but groaned. Malysh perked up a little but ultimately decided to ignore the two silly hairless cats.

“No, Beka! You don’t understand! He’s a captive breed and was hand rose to be a cuddling pet, but the guy kept him in a teensy small cage in his conference room! When the helpers first released him he pounced at them but it took them like two seconds to recognize he was just super excited to finally get some playtime! He’s touch starved and keeping him in that cage for anymore longer will drive him crazy and would just be cruel!”  
Malysh, obviously agitated by Yuri’s distressed tone had sat up and started to lick his hair, creating a spit Mohawk. His big prank kneaded into Yuri’s side and creating a large gash in his shirt. Otabek was impressed how Yuri didn’t bat an eye at the destruction of his look. Then again cats, no matter the size obviously, had always entitled to special treatment. Otabek had witnessed how Yuri brought Leo at the verge of tears of fear after dumping red wine onto his favorite dress shirt (it was a no name brand, but it was pristine white with silver leopard patterns woven into the fabric that were just visible when the light caught it. Needless to say Yuri loved it and used it to smuggle at least one cat print onto his gala attire), but cooed at Potya for destroying his Armani shirt with a tiger head on its back.

Otabek regarded the pair with an intense look (his Dark Horse look, as Yuri liked to tease).

“He will not sleep in the bed.” Yuri whooped.

“Nah, don’t be silly, his cage is in the Ballet room, I’ve already prepared a nest for him there.”

Otbake nodded slowly. After moving out from Lilia at the age of 18 (and some we-will-not-talk-about-it-ever-again in between time during which he lived with Victor and Yuuri) he found his current apartment in one of the not so nice regions of St Petersburg, but the closeness to the rink was undeniable. It was a 2,5 room apartment on the third floor (no elevator); the kitchen aisle and the living room formed one big main room, housing his old couch (all of his furniture were either cheap soviet-era pieces or expensive antiques. Gifts from either Lilia or his Grandpa), his desk, most of his books, most of his clothes (strewn over various surfaces. He was sure at one point he’d used to own a dresser), most of his medals (there was no free space on any wall anymore. Like. At all) and actually mostly everything. In addition Yuri’d used his new found freedom in his own four walls and painted one wall purple and the other red, thankfully his patience had worn out and only one tiger stripe could be found on the wall hidden behind the TV. His adjoined bedroom was not much better. It was so small his queen-size bed barely fit in there, the window was so small, and facing towards the bricks of the next building, the room was cast in eternal twilight.  
All in all his flat was what you would except from a barely 20 year old who’d grown up around a Georgi Popovich and a Victor NIkiforov. It was loud, it was full, it was colorful and first time visitors used to complain about a headache from the whole sensory overload.

That was, of course, until you opened the last door next to the kitchen.  
You’d experience an epiphany. Light would pour through your very soul, Angels would sing above your head and suddenly… clarity. Serenity. Peace.

The hidden heart of the apartment was a room with a line of windows facing south and out onto the water. The walls were a nice white and the floor a pristine wood (actually the main reason Yuri’d decided on this flat).  
Aside from a small dresser the only things that harbored in this room were several large mirrors lining one wall and a portable barre.  
The whole room acted as his sanctuary where Yuri would dance all of his problems away.  
While the chaos outside was all his and home and more the ballet room was his center. Otabek loved to tease Yuri how his flat actually reflected on his state of mind.

Otabek could only barely contain his smile at Yuri’s fiery protectiveness. Only his boyfriend could fuss and coo over a 150cm long lethal predator as if it was a teddy bear.  
“Well, as long as he doesn’t eat Potyo… or me… or you… I don’t think I can convince you otherwise anyway…”

“Aw, Beka, you’re the best!”

“Because I let you have a pet cheetah?”

“No! I mean, yes, obviously! He’s just the coolest, isn’t he? Though a cheetah as a pet is just animal cruelty, actually. This is the exeption. No, I mean, because you know when you’ve reached your limit with my pighead!”

“I actually think keeping a carnivore of this size is… yeah… let’s just say you’re way too crazy, my love.”

“Huh! Beka! I swear! Without the baby in my lap you’d be dead meat by now!”

“That’s a shame then. That would’ve solved Malysh’s dinner problem in one go.”

The Instagram photo of Otabek (his signature deadpan look in the front and Yuri cuddling with Malysh in the background, captured with #HeFinallyDidIt #CheetahPet #Malysh #HeGetsMoreCuddlesThanI #DontCheetAhnMe #YesYuriHasACheetah) broke the Internet. He had to turn off his notifications.  
Yuri’s post later that evening gave more insight into the story as well as providing links for donations to ensure Malysh’s future (and the future of all the other critters that were saved in the same process).

In the end Malysh stayed their guest for only some more hours. The agency called in the late evening, stating that they found a wildlife sanctuary near Moscow that was willing to house Malysh (a sanctuary that specified in breeding and releasing big cats into the wild afterwards. “Aw, see Yura, he will be the Don Juan of his enclosure! He’ll get definitely more sex than you will!” – “Please what?!” – “Did you really think you could stage it so that I would stumble over the cheetah alone? I’ve seen right through you, Plisetsky! Also I know how you get when you’ve seen big cats. Well, sucks to be you! You’re not getting anything tonight!” – ~~He totally got it.~~ )

Several years later Otabek’s video broke the internet again.  
He and Yuri had finally time to visit Malysh again and by pulling some strings they were allowed in the enclosure. What neither Otabek nor the handler expected was for Malysh to dash towards Yuri, tackle him to the ground and lick his face excitedly. Yuri laughed like a man possessed in near hysterics as he cuddled his baby.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this mainly because I had this picture in mind of Otabek entering the living room with a big cat on their sofa and Yuri acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary xD
> 
> I've tried to come up with a valid reason for Yuri to catsit a cheetah, though of course this is all very very unlikely xD
> 
> While some people like to keep cheetahs as pets it is widely known as basically animal cruelty. I've found a lot of information on this site here: https://pethelpful.com/exotic-pets/about-pet-cheetahs
> 
> I totally can picture Yuri as one of Peta's faces or doing ads for he WWF xD  
> Also I always wanted to write a story of Yuri being tackled and licked by a big cat.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading!


End file.
